I got a call from a doctor in New Hampshire. He was calling in a prescription for his daughter who is a student at the University of Texas Medical Branch.
The prescription was for SMZ/TMP DS for UTI. He asked me how many tablets and for how long. He is a dermatologist. I told him that it is best to err on the side of too long rather than too short. I added that 3 or 4 days would probably be enough.
“Let’s go ten days,” he grumbled.
I asked him if he wanted anything else and, with attitude, he asked what I meant by the question.
“There is usually stinging and burning,” I said. “We can handle that with a couple days of phenazopyridine.”
Of course, he wanted to know all about it and I wished that I had saved the idea for the OTC strength. I was thinking of his daughter’s budget. The Rx Only version would be covered by her insurance.
He okayed the prescription and then asked, “Is there a lot of this kind of infection down there?” He said it as if he was referring to Yellow Fever. He made it sound as if he thought UTI was a sub-tropical Galveston thing.
“There is no more UTI here than any other place I have practiced,” I said.
“Well this is the fourth time my daughter has had a UTI in four months,” he complained. “She is a healthy girl. There is something wrong down there.”
“Give her a second prescription,” I advised, “With the directions of ‘Take one tablet after each sexual encounter.’”
There was a very long silence of the lambs. He cleared his throat. I knew what was coming. He could not handle the vision of a studly Galveston boy poised above his Princess. Along with the picture, he probably imagined the sounds and the aromas. Poor guy! And he is a medical doctor in the 21st century.
FleshEater movie
“Excuse me,” he said, “My daughter is NOT sexually active.”
Superbad download “I’m sorry,” I said, “Some of the medical students down here are sexually active. My error.”
“Why do you think that my daughter is having sex down there?”
“I don’t think anything about your daughter. I just met her for the first time and why would she tell me, her pharmacist, that she is having sex.”
“That would be none of your business, mister, if my daughter was sexually active. I don’t want her to have anything to do with your ideas. Let me talk with another pharmacist.”
I told him that he was out of luck. “Doctor, I’m the only pharmacist here right now.” I let the silence linger. He was the aggressive side of the conversation. It was his serve.
“All right,” he said, “Her mother and I may have been too protective of her. Just the idea of her having sex with a stranger makes me sick.”
“He wouldn’t be a stranger to her,” I said.
“Have you met him?” His voice was pitched too high.
“No. She was with a female, another student.”
“Are they promiscuous down there?”
I didn’t like the DOWN THERE, like Galveston was a sex farm in Brazil. “Doctor,” I said and my voice was firm. “This is no different from Chicago or Cambridge. Twenty-something students are likely to be sexually active. This is 2009, not 1959. If your daughter isn’t taking oral contraceptives, she should be.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because she might not be getting recurrent UTIs if she was using condoms.”
To make a painful story shorter, I will skip the drawn out education of a closed-minded father and just say that I suggested he turn this part of his daughter’s medical care over to her gynecologist.
“I don’t think she has a gynecologist.”
“She is 24 years old,” I said, “Ask your wife. Trust me. She has a gynecologist.”
Two hours later, I get a call from New Hampshire. It was the girl’s gynecologist. I did not like her unprofessional sharing of a good laugh at the dermatologist’s expense, but perhaps that is how they do it in New Hampshire. I found out that the girl had been taking an OC since she was a senior in high school. She gave me a new Rx for Yaz and an Rx for Nitrofurantoin. Enough capsules for a 5 day course for this infection and additional capsules for one capsule immediately after each toss in the rack, 30 of them.
Who said, ‘Father knows best’?