“Jim, this nurse wants you to loan some Dexedrine to this patient.” The technician stood with the phone in her hand. She knew that my rule on “loaners” was a 3 days supply and never controlled substances.
I took the phone with anticipation. This could be the kind of perverted fun that I like. I’d listen to her, but there was no chance for her request to come true.. I asked her what she proposed I do.
“The doctor is out of town until Monday. I want you to spot her a few capsules to get her by until the doctor can write a prescription.”
“I can’t do that,” I said.
“I’ll write you a letter,” she complained. I’ll write down anything you want.”
“Are you authorized by the doctor to make such requests.”
“Yes,” a haughty reply. “Of course I am authorized.” She made a whooshing sound as she exhaled.
“Are you a registered nurse or, perhaps, a nurse practitioner?”
A long silence. Another whooshing sound. “No, I am not a nurse. I am the doctor’s secretary and I am absolutely authorized. I am asking you to spot her just enough until the doctor gets back on Monday. I’ll fax you the letter.”
“I can’t advance a Schedule II drug,” I said. I stifled a laugh.
She tried the old “What is your name?” trick. Like she was going to be a tattle tail
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium dvdrip
with the doctor.
“My name is Jim,” I said.
“Your last name?”
“I’ll spell it. Pee Ell Ay Gee Ay Kay Aie Ess. Plagakis.”
“Well Mister Plagaski,…”
I interrupted her. “That is PLAGAKIS. It has a kiss at the end, not a ski.”
“Whatever!” She whooshed again. “You will be hearing from the doctor.”
About an hour later, the doctor called. I told him what had transpired and informed him
that I was not spotting anyone anything Schedule II. The law allowed me, however, to fill an emergency prescription for a weekend’s worth on the promise that he would get
the written triplicate to us within one week. That would be 3 capsules of Dextroamphetamine SR 10 mg. He had to proclaim an emergency.
“When did she get it last? I am in the car on the way to New Orleans and I don’t have her chart. Hardy har har har.
I looked. “Her last amphetamine Rx from us was in April, 2006.” BINGO, “but she regularly had Xanax, Vicodin and Soma filled here.
“I don’t write those drugs!”
“Three other doctors did,” I said.
“Don’t give her anything.”
“I didn’t intend to.”
“Will you print out her record and mail it to my office?”
“I will do that.”
I told him that I had a question. “Why do you give authority on prescriptions to a woman who is not even a Registered Nurse.”
A short silence. “I can trust her. She knows how I do things. Why do you ask?”
I didn’t tell him that my question was rhetorical. I asked just to give him the opportunity
to examine his procedures. “Just wanted to know,” I said.