I think that some of the readers of what I write have a faulty picture of old “Jay Pee”. I usually write about my successful transactions with my patients/customers. On occasion, I’ll tell you about the trouncings I take. There are people who just are not charmed by Jay Pee’s efforts.
I am a risk-taker. I take chances with people. It usually works out. One of the things I do is touch. In the puritanical US of A, we don’t touch enough. Touching gives a comforting message. Go to southern Europe and you get kissed and touched more in one day than in a year in Vermont.
Two decades ago, I got creamed. My eidetic memory can even recall her fragrance. It was Diorissimo. I remember the Lily of the Valley. A good-looking, but plain brunet asked my help in the feminine hygiene area. While I was stressing to her that regular douching will kill the bacillus, the good bacteria, I lightly touched her forearm.
She went ape-shit. I apologized and quickly retreated. I was told by a good customer who had observed the scene that this attractive brunet was an ex-Roman Catholic nun who had put up with regular sexual abuse from a priest. I’m still going to touch. Especially when I am reassuring a patient about her illness.
The Friday before Mothers Day, I was assured that I still have it. I can’t see it when I look in the mirror, but a customer made my day. Transporter 3 buy
I always make eye contact. I always smile if that is appropriate and I will always frown if that is what the transaction requires.
Last Friday, I made eye contact with this guy and we laughed about something. I touched his forearm and gave it a squeeze. Then he invited me to go deep sea fishing with him over the weekend. We would go way out in the Gulf of Mexico, spend the night on his boat, fish a little and come back on Sunday.
This guy is as gay as Elton John. He is always color coordinated. He gives girly-girl body messages better than any woman can. He is 5 years younger than me.
I told him that I had to prepare for Mothers Day.
“Oh….You are lucky that your mother is still alive.” He batted his eyes and moved his shoulders in a manner that no man could replicate.
“My wife,” I said.
“Oh No, I didn’t know. You are…”
“…I am straight,” I said, “But, man, thank you for the compliment. I am honored that you would find me to be attractive.
“Oh…yes. If ever……”
I have a joke that makes most customers laugh. When the copay is really low, like $1.20. I step back in mock horror and announce. “You are robbing us.” Everybody has fun laughing. Almost everyone. A grouch bucket just said, “Shut up about my copay.”
Late last night, I filled a trazodone Rx for a 67 year old woman. I had her spotted as a woman distressed. Her blonde hair was stringy and for some inexplicable reason, she had a pencil thin strand rubber banded so it hung over her left eye. She asked me if the drug is for depression.
When I gave her the Rx, I said, “So.. you are down in the dumps?” Of course, I made eye contact, but I did not smile. You don’t smile when she is depressed.
She gave me a blank look.
“That means…you got the blues, the Galveston blues.”
“I do have the blues. My son doesn’t want me to live with them anymore and the apartment is like solitary confinement.”
Of course, I touched her arm and said, “Well this is a good chance to make new friends.” That was the wrong thing to say.
“I can bake the best blueberry muffins,” she said, boring me with her eyes. “They will melt in your mouth.”
“I’ll bet they are delicious.” Oh oh, I was feeling a little tense. Please, I thought. No, please do not invite me to your apartment.
“Do you like Lou Rawls?”
“I do enjoy Lou Rawls.” I cringed.
“We can listen to Lou Rawls and I’ll bake the muffins. I like Cognac. Do you like Cognac?”
This was killing me. She had gone from a face that said death-is-coming-soon to classic I-might-get-laid-tonight body language.
I took a deep breath and lied to her. “I feel like I am getting the Swine Flu.”
“Do you feel sick?” Henry Poole Is Here release
What was I thinking? “My body aches all over and I just need to go home and get some sleep.” I immediately regretted it. Someday I’ll have to tell her the truth, but last night, I did not want to add more weight to her blue mood.
It is all about balance, you guys. My shtick usually makes me a winner, but there are times when I plummet off the high wire.
Take a chance, you guys. Relax. Be yourself. Connect with these people.
When Vladimir Horowitz, the brilliant piano maestro was asked how he could play so perfectly, with no mistakes, he said, “I always make mistakes. The secret is to blend the mistakes in so no one notices them.
Balance! There is an old Japanese proverb: Even monkeys fall out of trees.
I have been a pharmacist for almost 33 years, 15 of them in retail. The best part of my experience was garnered in a small town in northern Maine. There was no prescription blizzard in those days, and I was able to be an “old timey” pharmacist to the people of my town. I could talk with them, joke with them, and advise them on their prescriptions. This was the Ole’ Apothecary I knew they wanted, the so-called “Doc” they knew from a former time. But this is the true role of the community pharmacist: advisor and also a special kind of friend, the kind they are glad to see but sometimes will tell them something they might not want to hear, and they believe you because you are YOU>
JP, I would to be able to practice with you for at least one day.
OK….I goofed up my comment.
I meant to say–
JP, I would just LOVE to be able to practice with you for at least one day.
I can use touch carefully too, but there is a cultural difference when a female reaches out for a friendly touch than that of a man doing the same.
I agree with the ‘touch’ thing tremendously! One day, as I lay mouth open in a dentists chair, the nice lady placing the crown in place, etc. began telling me about her family, her kids, grandkids…and of course, I asked (when i had a chance to close my mouth!) about them.
After telling me I have a warm, welcoming face…she told me her story. About her youngest son, a new parent, killing himself. I looked her straight in the eyes…and listened. Let her tell it, and since I couldn’t talk, I just reached out and squeezed her forearm. It was then that she began to tear up.
She’d been keeping everything in from all of her coworkers all week…and I allowed her a moment to just let it out. It was nice.
Again, JP has touched the quintessential essence of a pharmacist working ‘in his own skin’; pharmacy is just a side-note to what is accomplished in getting through this life; pursuing understanding without necessarily saying words to translate ‘ishin denshin’, I believe.
There are occasions where the use of ‘touch’ alone, can seem patronizing or insulting such as the hand at one’s back that seems to be hurrying the departure, so don’t mix messages! Experience with autistic children would seem to suggest that some people might consider an attempt to reach out with reluctance or suspicion. On the other hand, ‘touching’ may be a cultural thing, but one can learn to make it one’s own ‘culture’.
Growing up, some folks had awfully bony fingers, and left physical bruises from the ‘pokes’ at their greeting. With my little French Canadian mama, greeting friends and relatives with kisses on cheeks seemed ‘olde worlde’; a polite acknowledgment of a cultural tradition. Despite liberal use of Pond’s hand cream her work-roughened hands felt like sandpaper, but her rare hugs with ‘open palms’ indicated empathy, a certain vulnerability yet openness, and conveyed real friendliness to help, and desire to speak to a child’s heart.
As a pharmacist, and realizing maturity is not all about sexual domination, making direct eye contact and speaking in one’s own ‘terms’ with authority helps give a sense of support and confidence, along with a pat on the arm i.e. ‘touching’ if appropriate, as some people learn and retain information with tactile input.
I’d also LOVE to be able to practice with you for at least 3 months.
However I need to practise speaking English first much of that time to practise pharmacy with you.
Believe it or not, I do this too in certain situations. Generally, it’s the elderly, especially when I know they’re on their own or in assisted living rather than with family. A little pat on the back of a hand, especially one that’s cold from bad circulation, can change a whole day’s outlook. Something else that seems to help is, of all the unexpected gestures, leaning on the counter to listen to questions and problems. Corporate says leaning looks “lazy”, but if you were talking to a neighbor across the back fence, you wouldn’t stand stick straight with a fake smile either.